


Reconciled

by ModernBookFae



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 02:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10630470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernBookFae/pseuds/ModernBookFae
Summary: Nesta and Cassian get into an argument that prompts Nesta to raise her internal walls up again. She returns back to the human world to think about the words that Cassian said to her before finally deciding to return home after days of no contact with her mate.But that is about to change when Cassian and Nesta feel the urge to apologize to each other in a way that is settled through heated contact that kindles their burning desire.





	

Leaves rustled above Nesta as she sat on a branch overlooking her previous home. Her fae ears could pick out the sound of her father moving in one of the rooms from the opened windows as summer breeze stirred the loose stands of golden brown hair that had escaped the simple braid.

Currently she was wearing plain clothes she had taken from the local village. She didn’t feel terribly bad for the theft since the clothes were mostly ragged, but she couldn’t stand to stay in her fine Night Court clothes after wearing them through her journey. The dark blue shirt she now wore was large enough that it hung slightly off her shoulder and the pants were a tad tight, but she wasn’t going to complain if that meant she could wear clean clothes.

Nesta closed her eyes in contemplation. She had left the Night Court almost five days ago as quickly as she could. Not a moment was spared to grab anything with her or tell anyone where she was going. Which was how she wanted it to be. She hated herself for not warning her sisters ahead of time so they wouldn’t worry, but Nesta had to leave the Night Court before she did or say something she regretted.

The painful memory of Cassian and Nesta’s fight flooded her mind. They were arguing, but that wasn’t uncommon. Usually the fight was nothing major. They would bicker about the small things and tease one another, but their last argument turned into a battle zone. It started off small and escalated into a yelling match.

She faintly recalled that the disagreement stemmed from her wanting to participate in the Blood Rite.  The Rite meant she would go unarmed into the mountains at the Illyrian camp without using her magic, Siphons or supplies. Nesta wanted to prove the Illyrians who still thought her frail and useless that she was a force to be reckoned with. She would show them that she was a true warrior rather than a weakling so many of believed her to be. And she planned to beat those pricks by using the Blood Rite they thought meant everything toward being a true Illyrian warrior.

But Cassian was firmly against it. He couldn’t allow his mate on the mountains alone with no allies against hundreds of Illyrians males who would seek her out and try to destroy her.

_“You can’t order me **not** to be in the Blood Rite Cassian,” Nesta said firmly. “It’s my choice.”_

_“Like hell you’re going into those mountains,” Cassian turned to face her with his arms crossed. He held the posture of the Army Commander who wasn’t willing to budge on this matter. “Nesta those males will do everything in their power to break you up there. My blood is already boiling with the thought of what they would do if they got their hands on you.”_

_“Let them try,” Nesta haughtily turned her head up to face her mate. “I’m strong enough to take them.”_

_“Nesta you underestimate them-“_

_No, you're underestimating me Cassian.”_

_“I’m not.” Cassian inhaled trying to control himself as he explained. “Why can’t you just trust me on this Nesta?”_

_“Because it’s my right Cassian!” Nesta flew her hands in the air in exasperation._

_“You were not born an Illyrian Nesta,” Cassian raised his voice as well. “You have no idea what it means to take part in the Rite and I’ll be dead before you’re put in that danger.”_

_“So you intend chain me like Tamlin tried with Feyre?” Nesta argued back. At this point their voices could be heard by anyone in the House of Wind._

_“Don’t you dare compare me to that fucking prick,” Cassian snarled. “I’ve trained with you and allowed you to train with the other Illyrians which is far more than what that bastard ever gave your sister.”_

_"You **allow** me to train? Well Commander maybe you should watch yourself, because last I checked I don’t take orders from brutes who think they can control me!”_

_“You won’t be participating in the damn Blood Rite,” Cassian brushed past Nesta as if wanting to end the argument before it got out of control. But it was already too late._

_"Yes. I. Will.” Nesta gritted out and faced Cassian who froze in the kitchen. His hazel eyes darkened and Nesta could see the red Siphons flicker with restrained power._

_“Don’t Nesta.” Cassian spoke in a deadly calm manner. “I am asking you to please listen to me instead of thinking about your pride right now.”_

_“And why?! Why should I when you won’t let me do this one-“_

_“What would happen if any of those males banded together against you Nesta? Do you think they will go easy on you?” Cassian’s voice boomed with unleashed emotions. “Do you know what would happen if they restrained you? A female, at their mercy? I can imagine that they would do far **worse** things than what happened you as a human. Is that what you want Nesta? To be taken advantage of and being at their fucking mercy while I can’t do anything to help?” Cassian's chest heaved in deep breaths. He released his pent up worries and rage at the thought of Nesta being hurt by someone. _

_His words echoed between them and Nesta was frozen._

_Memories of her past with Tomas didn’t plague her mind as often as they used to. She had grown stronger and more resilient since that day. As a human she had narrowly escaped him and as a stronger fae she didn’t imagine she could be pushed into a position like that again. But now Cassian had trudged up those memories and put them in a harsher light._

_**Cassian thinks I’m still that defenseless human girl who could barely protect herself.** _

_The thought felt like a slap to the face and hurt worse when she could feel the way he was scared for her down the bond. He truly didn’t think she was strong enough to protect herself._

_Sadness swept Nesta up before she could control herself. A tinge of anger and fear swirled in the depths of despair that Nesta had fallen into. She quickly put up walls against the bond. Blocking him out and keeping her thoughts and feelings hidden behind them._

_Cassian’s head snapped up at the brief flicker emotions he felt from Nesta before her walls cleaved him off._

_“Nesta-“_

_“Don’t.” Nesta backed away. “Just don’t Cassian.”_

_He took a small step toward her as if approaching an animal that may bolt in fright. His expression was one of shock and regret. A phantom hand tried to comfort her down the bond, but was met with fortified walls. Cassian’s breath stuttered when he felt their connection blocked by the walls she built._

_Nesta didn’t stick around the House of Wind. She hurried away and sought sanctuary away from the pain in his eyes as she fled from him._

“Figures I would go back to the place we first met,” Nesta grumbled from the tree she hid in. On the first night she was gone it was tough for her to not go back to Velaris. She could feel Cassian trying to open her walls each second she was away. The agony, sorrow and panic she felt at his touches against her shield was almost too much.

She knew he was searching for her ever since the night she failed to return home after their argument. He was in grief at not knowing if she was safe. He could tell she was alive with the bond still tethered between them, but he couldn’t feel her emotions or thoughts. He had no way of knowing where she was or if she was in danger.

Nesta looked up to the sky half expecting to see him soaring above her on those magnificent scarred wings. It was a miracle that he could even fly, but his flight distances were limited to short spans. He would still stop at nothing to find her regardless of his wings’ condition.

A bird flew by and landed higher up in the tree. It glanced at her before taking off again high in the sky searching for a different unoccupied roost. Seeing the bird made Nesta long for home. For Cassian.

She rose up to stand on the branch before taking a powerful leap back toward the wall. Nesta would go to the Spring Court where her sister and Elain's husband lived. She would ask Lucien to winnow her back to the Night Court as soon as possible.

With quick feet she bounded from branch to branch until she reached the wall. With a graceful stride she glided over the wall and through the trees to land in Spring Court territory.

_○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○_

Lucien winnowed her to the Night Court not long after she arrived. Elain and Lucien explained to Nesta that Cassian and the Inner Circle were searching for her. Lucien mentioned that Cassian was wild with the need to find his mate and it wouldn’t bode well for anyone to wait any longer for Nesta to return home.

He made sure she was within the Night Court border, but told her he wouldn’t take her farther in fear of Cassian going into a rage at the sight of another male being close to his mate after her absence. Nesta nodded and thanked him for his help before he returned back to the Spring Court. Back to his own mate.

Nesta used her fae speed to take her to the townhouse she shared with Cassian in Velaris. The moment she entered the home she could tell Cassian wasn’t there and that he hadn’t been for days by the smell of it. She made her way to the House of Wind where Feyre ran to meet her on the steps.

“Where were you?” Feyre asked as she looked over her older sister and her outfit that smelled of humans.

“I went back to our old home,” Nesta said. “Is Cassian here?”

“No he’s in the Winter Court I imagine,” Feyre explained. “He refuses to stop looking for you. He’s been to all the courts with Rhysand trying to find you.”

Nesta’s stomach clenched at the thought of her mate searching tirelessly for her these past few days. “Can you ask Rhysand to let Cassian know I'm back?”

Feyre nodded. “Let’s get you to your room though. I imagine you two will need to talk this out alone the moment he gets back.” Feyre sniffed and scrunched her nose. “You should also change so Cassian doesn’t go into a fit at the human scent on you.”

Nesta didn’t argue with that as she walked into the House of Wind and went to her room. It was originally Cassian’s room alone, but after they completed the mating bond it turned into a room they both shared.

She grabbed a clean set of clothes and walked to the bathroom. She tossed both her dirty Night Court attire and stolen human clothes on the tile floor before washing her face.

She slipped in her new clothes and walked into the bedroom when she felt Cassian’s presence arrive at the House of Wind. Rhysand must have winnowed them back with how suddenly they made it back. She stood waiting for him in the room wondering how angry he was going to be when he arrived. His running footsteps neared in the distance. It was only a matter of seconds before she could hear his heavy breathing get closer and the door swung open fast enough that it smacked into the wall.

Cassian stood there in the doorway. Chest heaving and eyes roving her body to search for injuries.

Nervousness flooded Nesta as he sniffed the air. His warm spicy scent that she had come to love made her dizzy with the urge to run to him and breathe him in.

Hazel eyes darted up to her face at the gasp that escaped her lungs when she caught sight of him. Nesta could see Cassian's body slightly shaking, but she kept her blue gray eyes focused on his burning gaze that was searching for something deep in her soul.

Days of being away from her mate and longing to be with him shook Nesta to the core. She missed him terribly and tears threatened to form. The emotional toll was finally sinking in has her throat clenched when she tried to speak. Tried to apologize for her rash action and habit of pushing others away.

“Cassian.” Nesta choked out before his forward movement distracted her.

At his name Cassian devoured the distance with his stride and pulled her into his arms. He clutched her tightly to his chest with a pounding heart beating underneath her cheek.

“Nesta,” Cassian’s voice was deep and hoarse. His face was buried in her neck as he ran fingers through her hair that had fallen loose on her returning journey. He inhaled her scent and sighed at the familiarity of it that he had been longing for these past days.

“Nesta I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Cassian said against her skin.

“But you did,” Nesta said so quietly that Cassian almost didn’t catch it.

“And I will forever be sorry for it. Everyday I will regret those words that caused pain to the one person in my life that I care for more than anything.”

Nesta leaned into Cassian. She was completely exhausted after everything that had happened and her journey back home hadn't helped her weary body. “But I’m at fault too Cassian.” Her voice shook at unshed tears.

Wordlessly Cassian wrapped his arms around her in a tighter embrace as if he was afraid she would disappear again. He ran his hand down the back of her head in soothing motions and the hand around her waist held her close to his warm body. Her face lifted to rest against his shoulder where his long dark hair brushed the top of her head. She inhaled a shaky breath and closed her eyes as his familiar scent and touch filled her senses.

“I’m so sorry Nesta,” Cassian said as he continued comforting his mate. “I’m sorry for being a prick to you.”

Her legs trembled under the waves of emotions she was feeling. Cassian lifted her up and carried her to the bed as if he could tell that was what she needed at the moment.  He set her down with ease into the covers and pillows that cushioned her. As he made to pull away Nesta gripped her hands into his shirt.

“Don’t leave me Cassian,” Nesta worried at the thought of Cassian moving away from her. Of leaving her alone.

He paused to look deep into her blue gray eyes. “Don’t worry sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.” He climbed into bed and propped himself on an elbow above her. She scooted closer to him so her body was pressed against him. One of her hands moved to flatten over his heart where she felt it beating in a fast rhythm. Cassian sighed at the touch and reached to cup her face tenderly.

“Please Nesta,” Cassian stroked the side of her face with his thumb. “Lower your walls. I can’t bear to not feel you through the bond. Please let me back in.”

She could sense him on the other side of her shield. A warm strong caressing hand. The flicker of flames lighting a path to him through the darkness she was shrouded in behind her defenses. Every bit of it called to some primal part of her.

Nesta slowly lowered the walls and felt him reach that mental hand out to her. Like a wolf brushing against it’s mate and enveloping her in warmth. His emotions carried through with that welcoming touch. Relief filled the mating bond and Nesta sank deeper into the comforting mental embrace of her mate. She could feel his worry dissipate even more as he felt her reciprocate the touch.

“I missed you,” Cassian whispered into her hair. “Gods I missed you so much.”

“I’m sorry that I left Cassian,” Nesta murmured into his chest as she held him tighter to her body. She had missed him too. Every moment away was slowly eating at her and causing more pain from being closed off from her mate. Now that she was in his arms she silently vowed never to close herself off from the one person she loved most in this world.

“I understand why you fled. And I just- I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt while I couldn’t do anything to protect you.” Thoughts of Hybern dimly passed through the bond of the time when Nesta and Elain were thrown into the cauldron and there was nothing Cassian could do to save them.

Nesta shivered at the memory. “I know you would do anything to protect me Cassian. It’s just that I want to prove to others that I’m not that weak girl anymore.”

“You were never weak,” Cassian rumbled. “The woman I have seen since the moment I met her was fierce and full of fight. You should never have to prove that to anyone. Least of all to those bastards who try to get a rise out of you.”

A tiny chuckle escaped Nesta. Leave it to Cassian to somehow make her laugh despite the other emotions that were raging inside her.

He placed a hand under her chin and raised her face to meet his. He pressed his lips to hers like the way they shared their first kiss. Pleadingly asking for her trust. He had failed to protect her and her sister from Hybern years ago leading him to go great lengths to gain back her confidence in him. Now he was kissing her with similar gentle touches that begged for that trust again. His tongue grazed her lips asking for entrance which she gave.

“Nesta,” the word cradled from his lips in a soft whisper.

With deft movements she used her hands to unbutton the back of his shirt to make it easier to remove it from around his wings. She wants him right now. Needs to feel more of him all around her. She craves his touch and to have him inside her. Nesta sends those thoughts down the bond and feels Cassian quiver with restraint.

“Whatever you want sweetheart. Just give the word,” Cassian smirks and shrugs his shirt off.  Her pale hands rove his exposed chest riddled with scars. She glides fingers down his tanned muscled skin. Nesta leans up to give him open-mouthed kisses on his collarbone.

“I want more than words Cassian. I want you moaning for me and making me never want to leave this bed.” Nesta gripped the sides of his face and brought him down in a searing kiss. She bites his lip to give him more incentive, which he gladly takes. He growls into her mouth and works his hands underneath her shirt to play with her breasts.

A sigh escaped her as he cupped her bare breast and pushed her hips into his. She could feel his arousal through his pants digging into her thigh.

“You won’t be able to _leave_ the bed once I’m through with you,” Cassian had taken on a guttural tone that resonated deep with Nesta. His mating instincts took over. These past few days had been torture without her and he damn well was going to make sure they made up for lost time and more. Starting with those soft lips of hers.

He bit her bottom lip and soothed it with his tongue as he worked her under his hand. Mother he loved the feel of her breasts. With quickness he ripped the shirt down the middle. The tearing noise jolted Nesta out of her pleasure for a moment, but was quickly forgotten when his mouth drifted to her exposed breasts. He took one peak into his mouth and elicited a moan from his mate.

She raised her hands to grip is long dark hair. Hands running through the thick strands before moving down his shoulders to trace his Illyrian tattoos. Eventually she reached the joints of his wings that connect to his back. Cassian moved to the other breast where he began licking and nipping to get her riled up.

Nesta grabbed the wing joint and rubbed her hands up and down. Her fingers caress the dark membrane of his wings and she smirks when her nails dance across it in patterns she knows will undo him.

A growl rumbled in Cassian’s chest. The vibrations are felt through Nesta’s body as he lifts his head to look at her with hazel eyes that are so dilated that they look like a starless night sky.

“That’s how you want to play?” Cassian’s feral grin has Nesta anticipating what was to come. He moves his hands to the band of her pants and tugs them down with her underwear. Once he finally frees her feet, he throws the garments away like a nuisance he’s glad to be rid of. He trails his nose back up her leg and inner thigh. Nesta’s breath hitches when his hands push her legs apart to have better access to a spot he plans on giving his attention to next.

He can smell her arousal and his fingers confirm how wet she is. Before Nesta can react Cassian begins licking her into oblivion. A feeble groan escapes her lips as she writhes under the pressure his tongue gives. She can feel him inside her and she can’t stop her hips from pressing forward in the hopes that he can reach deeper.

“More Cassian,” Nesta gasps as Cassian heeds the plea of his mate and moves his fingers to rub circles into the bundle of nerves that have her bucking off the bed.

Raw need shoots down the bond from both sides. But Cassian isn’t done yet. He plans on apologizing to his mate in the most pleasurable way possible and making sure she understands just how much he cares for her even when his mating instincts kick into a protective drive.

He can feel her hands digging into his scalp as she tries to cling onto anything she can grasp. Her stuttered breathing and sighs go straight to his cock that is straining in his pants.

Cassian increases the pressure of his hand and gives Nesta a few more long licks until she finally reaches the precipice of pleasure and squeezes her eyes shut as she bites back a cry as Cassian continues licking. He keeps licking her as she comes down from her pleasured state. Cassian plans on stoking her fires until she is screaming with need.

“Don’t hold back,” Cassian demands when he can tell she’s holding back noises that he desperately wants to come from that delectable mouth. “Let me know how much you want this Nesta.” Another lick has her breathless, but she can’t deny her mate. She’ll let him know just how much he is undoing her.

“Don’t stop,” Nesta whimpers. “Please don’t stop.”

Cassian works her even harder as he moves from the little bundle of nerves between her legs and up to her hips to hold her down to the bed. She growls at the loss of his fingers, but she hears him fumbling to take off his pants.

“Wait,” Nesta voice catches in her throat and is answered with only an animalistic growl from her mate.

“Cassian wait.” Nesta pulls his hair harder to get his attention until finally he looks up. He doesn’t look happy to be interrupted.

“I want to taste you too,” Nesta admits and moves a leg slowly to brush against his throbbing member still in his pants. He hisses at the contact and snatches her foot with his hand. His grip is firm around her calf has he tightens his hold to an almost bruising point. Burning hazel eyes meet her blue gray ones that are glazed with the effects of her orgasm.

Cassian leans back on his haunches with wings flaring out to balance him. Nesta follows his movements and works her hands to unbutton his pants. His member is free and pulsates in her grip as she slowly begins to bring him to his own peak of pleasure.

“Is this what you want Cassian?” Nesta moves her hand up and down in motions that have Cassian gritting his teeth. He’s holding back for now, but she knows it’s only a matter of time before he shatters in her hold. She leans her head closer to his length and puffs a breath onto it. His hips jerk in reaction and his hands fist into her hair. Nesta is given the opportunity to lick him once at the tip before she is roughly pushed onto the bed.

Her shock is written across her face. Cassian shoved his pants off in a flurry before hovering over Nesta.

“What I want is my cock inside you and having my name screaming from your lips,” Cassian eagerly gripped her hips and nudged himself against her opening.

A fierce need overcomes Nesta as she bucked forward to push him harder against. “Then do it.”

_Gods he loves it when she is commanding in bed._

He pushed into her at that moment and she grips his shoulders tightly as he begins thrusting into her with abandon. Their hips snap together and their moans entwine in a beautiful sound that has Cassian snarling in satisfaction.

Her slick folds and warmth envelop him as he moves in and out of her. He leaned down and gave Nesta kisses and licks with a few bites in between. She parries his passion by giving open-mouthed kisses on his shoulder and stroking his wings as best she can with the harsh movements of his thrusts.

“Nesta,” The rumbled word against her skin as her stroking him faster. Her head falls back as he nips her earlobe. “Gods you feel so good.” Cassian braces a hand near her head to help balance him as he moves faster. “Does it feel good sweetheart?”

“Yes,” Nesta can barely keep oxygen in her lungs. She gripped his shoulders tightly as his thrusts become more erratic.

“Tell me what you want,” Cassian is relentless and Nesta is so tight around him. He knows that he won’t last long. Not this round at least.

 “You Cassian,” Nesta's breath ghosts against his shoulder. “Please Cassian I need-” She can't get the words out as Cassian hits a spot that has her angling her hips upward.

Cassian tilted her hips into a better position. Nesta comes at the next stroke, but he doesn’t slow down. She tightens around him and trembles in the waves of pleasure he wracks from her body with each continuing thrust. He guides her through it and murmurs words she can’t decipher at the moment. She can still feel him moving inside her and more than anything she wants him to come inside her. She shoots the thought through the bond for her mate to know her desire.

His growl fills the air. They are not through yet. He moves a hand into her hair that has splayed out on the pillow during their abrupt love-making. His fingers move through the dark golden threads. Her flushed skin is sensitive has he licks her breast again.

She moans louder than she has yet. The sounds drive him insane as he picks up the pace in erratic thrusts. _So close. He’s so close and she is almost there again._

He moves his second hand back between her thighs and moves his fingers against her.

“Cassian…Cass-!” She imagines the whole of Velaris can hear her cry her mate’s name. She moves her hips flush and rolls against his. Cassian can’t contain the groan that unfurls from the heated contact.

“Come for me sweetheart,” Cassian pants and gives her a few more thrusts before she is over the edge again. Cassian cries out Nesta’s name as he is spent inside her. He fumbles to give her a few more thrusts before he collapses on the bed beside her. Both are in a fit of pants as their climaxes wash over them in a blissful state.

Seconds go by before Nesta rolls over toward Cassian. She moves her leg over his and rests her head against his heart. The rapid heartbeat makes her content as she runs her fingers slowly to follow the patterns of his tattoos on his chest.

“You are incredible,” Nesta places a kiss over his heart. She feels his arm wrap around her bare shoulder to tug her closer. His fingers idly play with her messy hair.

“Of course I am sweetheart,” Cassian places a kiss on her head. “Just don’t let it go to your ego that your mate is the best.”

Nesta unleashes a snort that turns into a giggle.

“I love you Nesta.”

“Love you too Cassian.”

The two fall into a deep slumber as the physical and emotional toll pulls them asleep in each other’s arms. Cassian manages to pull a blanket over their naked forms. Not like they need it. They are both heated from their passionate actions and are curled into each other on the bed. Within an hour they awaken and are back at it again in a mess of kisses, grunts and passion that makes the House of Wind tremble. They continue long throughout the day and most of the night before they manage to make it back to their own home. In the morning they have another bout before Cassian cooks breakfast with Nesta purring in his ear to entice him back to bed again. He decides to put Nesta over the table and eat something else instead.

They later reconcile the Blood Rite issue that pushed them apart and enjoy eating breakfast in their dining room.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


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